Dispensing “Depends” for Big Babies

I’m beginning to realize that, regardless of what you do, some people simply will not like you. I sensed it the first time I met them. But it was nothing they said outright. I just knew there was some problem. They were a fairly young couple, married 5 years and in their 30s. One child…

Sunday After Midnight

It’s after midnight on Sunday evening. Everyone in my neighborhood’s most likely in bed. But me? I’m walking the path around the man-made lake in our subdivision in pitch darkness. Hopefully, everyone else is asleep, because I’m spitting and cussing at God. What’s wrong? Enough that I’m wondering why God thinks I would still be…

Do-Or-Die, De Vine and De Branch

So I’ve hit the ground running at my new church. We arrived here just two months ago now, after saying tearful goodbyes to dear friends in our former ministry field. I’d given 5 years of my life to that church, starting it from scratch. And I had learned so much that had somehow escaped me…

And just then, the clouds parted…

Haven’t written much in a while, because so much has been happening. But to bring you up-to-speed, when we last heard from the Bad Pastor… I had just shut my church down, putting to end five years of planting, struggling and depleting every cent we’d saved or ever put in a retirement account. I prayed…

Confessions of a Selfish Jerk Pastor

The church today has become pretty much a “non-prophet organization”. Years ago, preachers were praised for “telling it like it is” to a congregation. These days, that kind of truth that “cuts like a surgeon’s scalpel” is about as welcomed as a porcupine at a nudist colony! The problem comes when he focuses in on…

Pastor: YOU HAD ONE JOB!

If you’re keeping score now, it’s officially three Sundays since I closed my church. We worked hard for 5 years, but never could seem to bring in enough to sustain it. It was time to move on, so I released my people to look for a new church home on Easter Sunday. Since then, I’ve…

Sunday in the Twilight Zone

Yesterday was my second Sunday not to preach. l just closed down my 5 year-old church plant on Palm Sunday. You can read the painful details in my article HE IS NOT HERE. I figured I’d use my time between churches wisely and check out some area congregations. I wanted to see what I could learn…

“HE IS NOT HERE” No, really…

It’s Easter Sunday and I’m a pastor. But this morning, I slept in. This is my first Easter not to spend the day leading or preaching. You see, last Sunday after 5 years spent planting a new church, we called it quits. And I figured instead of going through the motions for Easter, the honorable…

Where people come to die

I live in a place where people come to die…Florida. One of my main modes of transportation around town has been my bicycle. Here in southern Florida, there are three main groups of people who ride bikes. The first are retirees out for some good exercise, in cute little shorts and protective helmets. Next are…

Monday Meltdown

Monday is to pastors as Mondays are to football coaches. I know of no other profession for which this day holds such morbid introspection. Obviously, you’ll note a slight pay difference between the two professions. But both take quite a bit of abuse from the folks in the stands, both deal with leading incredibly destructive…

Game of Thrones

I’m having lunch with a friend of mine, Todd. He’s a pastor too. Maybe that explains why he irritates me. He always likes to talk church strategy, from a business perspective. You know, “what demographic group your church is focusing on”, and “which churches are blowing and going in the area and which are not”….

Trapped at the Pastors Luncheon

So I’m sitting at the local pastors luncheon for the first time. I’ve always considered these meetings sort of like the TV show “The View”. Everybody’s griping, and most of them look like Joy Behar. Suddenly I realize I’ve made a crucial error. I’m trapped here. The waitress has already brought the bread sticks, and…