Pastor’s Code Words

One Christmas we were decorating our church lobby, and I was working further inside in the building. A church volunteer came to tell me a man was out front who “wanted a word with the pastor”. I can promise you, these words never bode well for anyone in my profession. So I took a deep breath and…

My Sacrifice Fly

My congregation loves to make fun of how little I know about sports. “Hey Pastor, it’s baseball season now! How many touchdowns do you think your team will make next game?” Snickering ensues, and I usually play along. “Baseball, huh?” I ask. “Is that the big orangy ball or the brown ovally one?” My limited…

#hashtag

The most recent ego trip for pastors is for us to have staff members take photos of us and create “memes” from them. A meme is a photo with some kind of pithy saying on it, often encouraging or motivational. Text is added to the pastor’s photo that is basically a quote taken from his…

Less > More

I was on larger church staffs for more than 20 years. One of my favorite jokes shared among staff members was this one: “I love the ministry, it’s just the people I can’t stand.”  Although it was supposed to be ironic, it was probably truer of me once than I’d ever want to admit. When…

Jesus Dancing

We did our Christmas musical at church last Sunday. And like most Christmas productions, there were things in it that were more fun than dignified. In particular, me singing and dancing to Feliz Navidad. Yes, I’m a pastor and I sing. And dance. Oh, and I’m a baptist pastor, by the way. Baptists are not…

People who suck the life out of you

So I just survived a vampire attack. Yeah, who would have thought it? And in modern-day St Louis, the heartland of America no less! Let’s call her “Helen”. She had met with me once before. It was one of those meetings where the person shows up at a worship service and demands to see the…